Waiting for My Uber Driver — An adult musician waits with guitar case and phone outside a sunny Merced motel while several colorful cars loop around the wrong block

The songbook

Waiting for My Uber Driver

Words by Douglas Heyes Jr. Listen to the recorded versions and follow the lyric below.

Original Doug Heyes lyrics · AI-generated music & vocals

While waiting for a ride that never seems to arrive, a narrator wanders through drinking memories, a failed relationship and scenes around Central California. Irritation with the delayed driver grows into a comic account of being stranded. The idle time becomes another song, leaving him still looking for a way to move on.

Listen

Recorded versions

2 recordings. Different voices and arrangements bring another side of the song into the light.

Lyrics

Waiting for My Uber Driver

Words by Douglas Heyes Jr

Save Lyrics as Text
Waiting for my Uber driver
I got to kill some time
Better now than later
Cuz there's something on my mind
I had to leave my Woman
Cuz she was cryin' all the time
Guess it's time to walk that line
With a little ol' friend of mine

I've been drinkin' Whiskey
Since I was just a kid
My Daddy was a Moonshiner
At everything he did
Kept his stills a- cookin'
Way out in the woods
Man, you sure good looking
When I got this kind of buzz

So I'm waiting for my Uber driver
Like I'm waiting for a train
All these voices in my head
Are driving me insane
There's an echo in the alley
Where some boys are shooting dice
Cuz I'm up in Central Cali
Gateway to Paradise

Down around the corner
They're keepin' with the beat
Here's Contrary Mary
With some purple on her feet
She been stompin' toilet wine
Down by the overpass
Kerosene and turpentine
And you can kiss my ass

Cover of a magazine
They sell down in LA
Glossy vellum plasticine
That smells like hell to pay
Don't you be a- slackin'
When the Devil comes to play
Dance the Hoochie Coochie darling
Down at Club Bombay

I guess my Uber driver's late
Going to save me 20 bucks
I guess I made a big mistake
When I sold my pickup truck
Looks like Uber took my cash
Told me I could kiss their ass
That won't even buy my gas
I called them up, they said as if
Time to play some  scratch and sniff

Waiting for my Uber driver
Cuz I let her get away
Just waiting for my Uber driver
Man, this ain't no holiday
I've been sitting here so long
I had to write another song
Waiting for my Uber driver
It's time to move along

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© Douglas Heyes Jr. All rights reserved.